expectation

Expectation is a bitch, isn't it?

I've always thought you would come through in the end, but time and time again, you didn't. I guess it's my stupidity, huh, to still be clinging on a vague hope that maybe, just maybe, this time it will be any different.

In the aftermath, you will somehow step in and do some kind of redemption act, then that's it, right? You redeem, then I shall obliterate all my outrage. You get the satisfaction that you already right the wrong, and I'm left with renewed faith in you.

Thus, the cycle restart, expectation -> disappointment -> redemption -> renewed faith. It's a vicious cycle, really.

I'm too damn tired of giving you the satisfaction of having righting the wrong, because in doing so, I'm deliberately giving you a chance to do the wrong thing in order to make it right. Sorry, but no more of that bullshit, not gonna give you a chance to make everything okay or make the unicorn puke rainbow.

You fucking ruined valentine's day for me for goodness sake. I freaking love valentine, okay, as cheesy as that might sound. Yes, it's a commercialized holiday, but even my stone-cold rigid heart gets warm and fuzzy on the concept of a one day especially dedicated for your loved ones. It's the one day that I can somewhat show my affection without being my usual too-cool-for-school self. Yes, showing feeling is a great challenge of mine, so I do cherish valentine's day and birthday of the people that I love. It's my chance to really show them that I care and that, as a matter of fact, I do have emotion.